Sunday, December 11, 2005

Too Many Supernumerary Nipples

As I've posted earlier, superfluous nipples don't always appear in the same place on a person's body. The most common place for a third nipple to show itself is a few centimeters below (and a little toward the center) a regular nipple.

For easy reference, many medical journals include diagrams or photographs illustrating various cases. However, the reference I just found is a little odd.

I suppose they did it in the interest of saving space and amalgamating information, but the Virtual Hospital's page showing extra nipple locations has decided to place as many as possilbe on one figure.



Naturally, this makes it appear as though these poor people are suffering from chicken pox, not superfluous nipples.

Yikes. That looks kinda freaky to me. And besides, I doubt that woman on the left could move in a cold breeze -- she'd just perk up solid and fall over.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Tilda Swinton is a Witch and I Can Prove it!

"Big News in the World of The Superfluous Nipple!"

Tilda Swinton, star of The Deep End, Adaptation, Vanilla Sky, Constantine, Thumbsucker, and The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, talks about a previously undocumented use for her superfluous nipple.
"I've always been very proud of it. I've used it to threaten my brothers my entire life."

This quote leaves me wanting more: What, exactly did she threaten them with? And are her brothers in therapy?

This is the perfect strorm of three-nipple news. Just the other day I pointed out that it's less likely to find third nipples in the news as it is find them in real life and what happens? A stunning revelation from a major star of an upcoming Hollywood blockbuster.

Yes, Jadis, the White Witch of Narnia is played by an amazing actress who just happens to have the devil's mark of an extra nipple. They used to burn them for that, now they pay them outrageous salaries to entertain us. Now that's progress.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

The BBC Has Three Nipples! (Or Possibly Four)

I recently discovered a post about third nipples on one of the BBC's subdomains - a Wikipedia-style encyclopedia called h2g2, after the beloved Douglas Adams world of The Hitchhikers's Guide To The Galaxy.

While I am thrilled to discover another reference guide for the owners of superfluous nipples, I was disappointed to find no new information on it. I suppose the subject matter isn't exactly of earth-shattering importance, so it's nice to see supernumerary nipples represented at all. Props to the peeps.

Actually, the most interesting fact on the page is that the editor, who shall remain anonymous, claims to have four nipples. That's two extras!


I'm sure they don't mean to imply that Tripple Nipples are in any way inferior to "Quad-Nips," or we'd have to settle it somehow - say, a company softball game or something. Dare to dream...

Thursday, November 17, 2005

The Nipples of the Devil

Are third nipples evil? Do superfluous nipples necessitate trafficking with the underworld? Apparently a lot of people used to think so. These days, I hope we're a little more enlightened.

The stats I read say that about one in 18 people has an extra nipple. That's someone in every class you've ever been in. I think that's pretty high, considering how avidly I keep track of things. Even considering that people with three nipples don't usually shout it from the rooftops (a trend which I hope to reverse) I'd still say it's closer to 1 in 50. Maybe I should stick a survey up on this site...

As far as evil goes, there's a link in the headline about "The Nipples of the Devil." I found a 15th century painting showing the tribulations of St. Anthony as he is beset by some devils. Yikes! Those crazy medieval painters and their wacky imaginations.

In the painting, there is one little devil with several extra nipples. Many more than three, as you can see. And they're not superfluous either! As we all know, a third nipple is used to nurse the devil's or witch's familiar. This guy must have a whole litter.

I've always felt special because of my three nipples. Now I just feel inadequate. Sigh.

Still, I got something out of this painting. When I first saw it, I thought it might have been Spanish in origin, and was thrilled to be able to call this post "Las Entrerroscas Del Diablo." I love the sound of that in Spanish. However, after tracking down this link I learned the painting was Belgian in origin, even though I still don't know the name of the painter. Belgian, eh? So in French and German, it's either "Les Mamelons Du Diable" or "Die Nippel Des Teufels." Sorry, no Flemish on Babel Fish.

Monday, November 07, 2005

The Three-nippled DJ

Um, I suppose I should post this here. File it under "too damn freaky."

If you've ever wanted to see a short video about a disabled priest with three nipples working as a DJ, now you can. Just go here.


“A PARAPLEGIC DJ PRIEST TRANSCENDS TO A HOLY PLACE USING THREE BREASTS AND TWO TURNTABLES.”


Thanks to Screenhead for this story.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Three Nipples For Everyone!

Do you have two nipples? Does it make you feel inadequate? At last, there is an answer. Just add a couple extras!

Nipple removal surgery is so passe - these days, all the cool kids are getting extras. Yes, the fine folks at Dr. Jonas Zizlesse's plastic surgery clinic are now offering Nipple Addition Surgery as a means of dealing with obesity.

As they say on the website, why diet, exercise, or undergo liposuction to keep off fat when "the female breast, so beloved of men, is really nothing but a bag of fat! Yes, the same stuff women work so hard to keep off of their thighs and behinds is what makes up the most attractive part of their anatomy!"



Thanks Dr. Nick! Er, I mean Dr. Zizlesse!

How's Dr. Zizlesse making out with this plan? I'm not sure, but in tiny print at the bottom of the page it says "You Are Visitor #5 to These Pages Since May 5, 1995." Of course, it says that every time I go there, but even so, it's not exactly looking like customers are beating down his door.

I particularly like some of the joke lines in the sales pitch: "Are you feeling gullible?" "If you answered anything to any of these questions, then CLICK HERE!!" The form at the end is pretty good too. If only this offer were true.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Season of the Witch

Happy Halloween everybody!

Just a friendly reminder to all of you dressing up as witches: do not forget that most important accessory, the third nipple, or witch's tit. Yes, your costume is not complete without that extra nipple you use to nurse your familiar. Of course, if you're going to a party where the subject is not likely to come up, I suppose you could forego it, but you'd know. And you'd only be cheating yourself.

Full information on marks of a witch (including superfluous nipples) is here in case you're going for full realism this year. My older post on extra nipples being the Devil's Mark has some more info too.

Hope you have a great Halloween - this year I'm dressing as a three-nippled freak!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Spotted Nipples

Extra nipples are not often mentioned in polite conversation. Actually, even in rude conversation, third nipples rarely pop up. As a result, finding fresh information about superfluous nipples is not as easy as it sounds, in case it sounded easy to you. You'd think that with about one in eighteen people having one, you'd hear more about them. Sadly, many people keep it hidden away. Doing my part to keep it real, here's what I've found today.

Third Nipple is an avant-garde band with a CD for sale at CDBaby.

Someone else has an information page about superfluous nipples.

What is The Third Nipple? There. Now you know.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Artemis of Ephesus

Yowza! That's a lot of nipples!

In a previous post I mentioned Atremis of Ephesus, a Greek goddess who, at Ephesus, in Turkey, was worshipped more as a fertility goddess than we generally associate with Artemis. Her temple was one of the Ancient Wonders of the World. Today she is a very important pagan figure.

As you may have noticed, she is sometimes represented with rows and rows of breasts - again as a fertility symbol. "Third Nipple" seems a little inadequate for her.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Nipples of the Gods

In an episode of Friends, Julie says "You know, in some cultures having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. You get the best huts and women dance naked around you." Oh, if that were only true. My hut is rather humble and the only naked dancer in the area is my nubile wife. Hey wait, maybe she's got something.

I've been looking for more documentation about what other cultures have traditionally thought about third nipples and found this one:

The occurrence of supernumerary nipples has been documented since Roman times and featured in legends and ethnic mythology prior to that time. Supernumerary nipples, and particularly polymastia, were attributed to increased femininity and fertility. Ancient artists depicted the goddess of Artemis of Ephesus and the Phoenician goddess of fertility, Astrate, like other ancient deities, as having row upon row of breasts on their chests. Supernumerary nipples in men were a sign of virility and endowed them with divine powers. Nowadays, film stars expose their extra nipples in the cinema with this same effect.

Now other than Mark Wahlberg, I can't really think of any other film stars who have displayed a third nipple in the cinema. And his virility and "divine powers?" I really can't say. One thing I do like, however, is that the website quoted above - emedicine.com - interjected a bit of humour in their medical information.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Another Myth Exposed

I found this posting on a website the other day and just have to share it.

I was discussing with O. the signifcance of people who are born with three nipples. We went over the people we had known who had had three nipples. He told me he knew a boy when we was growing up who had nine nipples. Apparently, his mother had used a vibrator when he was still in the womb and the vibrations had caused him to have extra nipples. I commented that at least his mother wasn't stressed out which would have caused some other possibly more serious symptom in the boy.


People, that theory is not worth the pixels it's printed on. Vibrators do not cause moms to give birth to extra-nippled babies. If that were the case, then we would not have seen people with three nipples (or nine!) before 1902, the year the first vibrator was patented. And we'd have a lot more people walking around with happy moms and a third nipple. Or a ninth...

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Brian Jones - The Nipples of the Rolling Stone

I found an article on "the connection between Mia Farrow, Sharon Tate, Charles Manson, and The Beatles" that lays out some facts along with some interesting speculation.

One of the most interesting things, from the point of view of someone with three nipples, is the claim that Brian Jones of The Rolling Stones had an extra nipple!


Kenneth Anger and the Stones members had met in London 1967. Author Tony Sanchez, one of the group's friends, describes that Rolling Stones' Mick Jagger and Keith Richards (who attended Polanski's and Tate's wedding in 1967), and their girlfriends Marianne Faithfull and Anita Pallenberg, "listened spellbound as Anger turned them on to Aleister Crowley's powers and ideas". Anger had wanted to cast for Lucifer Rising Mick Jagger as Lucifer and Keith Richards as Beelzebub, but the Stones weren't keen on the idea. Anger claims Jagger agreed at first, then changed his mind.

Anita Pallenberg had met the Rolling Stones in 1965. She immediately began sexual relations with three out of the five members of the group. Anger, commenting on Anita, said, "I believe that Anita is, for want of a better word, a witch.... The occult unit within the Stones was Keith and Anita.... and Brian Jones. You see, Brian was a witch too." Anger says Jones had a third nipple, on his inner thigh; the extra nipple traditionally considered a certain sign of being a witch.


Fact or fiction? Well, supernumerary nipples tend to appear along the milk lines starting at the underarm and running down toward the abdomen - not on the thigh. However, stranger things have happened.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

X-tra Nipple


First Phish, now the Ass Ponys.
On their album Some Stupid With a Flare Gun (2000) the Ass Ponys have a song called X-tra Nipple.


scatman crothers he and i are brothers
he’s got an x-tra nipple and i’m fascinated

that moms mabley i heard she had a baby
it’s got an x-tra nipple and i’m fascinated

i’m so fascinated by these special people

frank langella he’s my kind of fella
he’s got an x-tra nipple and i’m fascinated

bo-bo-barigmy chicks they really dig me
i’ve got an x-tra nipple and they’re fascinated

here’s my folded finger church and here’s the steeple
i’m so fascinated by these special people


So, to bring us up to date on our list of people with extra nipples, it looks like Scatman Crothers, Frank Langella, and Moms Mabley are all in the club. I'm sure that Chuck Cleaver of the Ass Ponys did his homework. Better add him to the third nipple list too.

Moms Mabley

I haven't found anything to confirm that Moms Mabley had three nipples (or that her children did - the song lyrics are a bit obscure) but I'll put it up here in hopes that someone can give me more data. She still holds the record for the biggest selling comedy album by a woman ever.

For background info on Moms Mabley, click here, and here.

Frank Langella

Again, the song says he has a third nipple, but I couldn't personally say. Frank has had a great career in some wonderful roles: Dracula, Zorro, Sherlock Holmes, Skeletor. Next up is Perry White in the new Superman movie.

More facts on Frank Langella are here and here.

Scatman Crothers


Scatman Crothers? I didn't know that he and I were brothers! Cool. Tragically axed by Jack Nicholson in The Shining (What a shock! He lives in the book!), he is also the voice of Cool Cat in The Aristocats and the supercool Hong Kong Phooey. Also Jazz in The Transformers, but that's not nearly as cool. More facts on Scatman Crothers (still no confirmation on that superfluous nipple) are here and here.

Friday, September 30, 2005

Mena's Mark



Mena Suvari, star of American Beauty, is featured on a website devoted to celebrities and their various dermatological conditions. Okay, now that's weird. We're only concerned with nipples here, thank you very much.




American bombshell Mena Suvari has more than just a beauty mark on her face. She also has this brown lesion on her right trunk. Though this may be a mole, its appearance and location are also consistent with an extra nipple.



Sorry, but to me it looks like a mole. Still, not a bad excuse to put a photo of her up here...

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Nipple Twister


Actor Bill Paxton, star of Twister (the hero guy), Aliens (the scared guy), Stripes (the stupid guy), and True Lies (the slimy guy), as well as the star and director of one of the greatest videos ever made, Fish Heads by Barnes and Barnes, is another celebrity with three nipples.

From an interview with David Bradley (see link in Title):

He breaks into several refrains of whooping, "yeah-ing" and "right on, man-ning", and then, when pressed to tell me something that no one's ever heard about the great, the extremely famous cult icon Bill Paxton, he thinks carefully and volunteers, "I've got three nipples. Three. No one knows about that, but no one's ever asked me before. I guess it's about time I got it off my chest."


Nice one about getting it off your chest.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

The Devil's Mark

Imagine - a mere 300 years ago a person could have been flayed alive, pressed by stones, or, the old stand-by, burned at the stake for having a supernumerary nipple. Not exactly the conversation-starter it is today. Why, you might ask, was this?

During the great witch craze of about 1100 to 1700 (wow, trends sure lasted a long time back then) it was commonly believed (by the same kind of morons you might find today in, oh, Dover PA) that an extra nipple was the mark of the devil. Witches were supposed to nurse their familiars through the extra milk spigot.


It was widely believed that most witches sported a mark on their body which was placed there by the Devil. The Witches' mark, Devil's Mark, or Witches' teat was the seal of the Devil, given to witches upon initiation. This mark could be a scar, a mole, a birthmark, or superfluous nipple. The Devil's Mark was a nipple through which the witch nourished her or his familiar.



The popular saying "cold as a witch's tit" appears to refer to superfluous nipples too. I don't know about you, but mine is toasty warm right now. No doubt from bathing in the eternal fiery pits of hell.

More history of The Devil's Mark here and here.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

The Scaramanga Gene


Third nipples can cure cancer! Well, not really, but this article By Ainsley Newson from The Times Online (UK) certainly adds to the mystique and prestige of the extra endowed. That is, of course, unless the researchers start rounding us up to use in their mad experiments.



By Ainsley Newson

A GENE that triggers the development of breasts has been identified by British scientists, who have named it Scaramanga after the Bond villain with three nipples.

The gene appears to influence the growth of extra nipples, but is also thought to be involved in breast cancer. Its identification promises to bring new insights into the causes and treatment of the disease.

Researchers at the Breakthrough Breast Cancer Centre at the Institute of Cancer Research have called the gene after the fiendish character Scaramanga, played by Christopher Lee in the 1974 James Bond film The Man with the Golden Gun. Bond’s adversary was identifiable only by his third nipple.

Professor Alan Ashworth and his team had wanted to understand the trigger for breast development, including what controls the number of mammary glands. They found that Scaramanga helps to determine how and where breast tissue is laid down while the embryo is developing, in addition to the number of breasts that form. They report their finding in Genes and Development.

In embryo development the formation of all organs and tissues is tightly controlled by different genes. In humans the process normally results in two breasts, but the process sometimes goes awry.

“Identifying the Scaramanga gene is a real advance in our understanding of the early steps in breast formation,” Professor Ashworth said. “By learning more about this gene and the protein it produces, it will allow us to determine how normal breast development is initiated, and, importantly, examine how this is connected with breast cancer.

Scaramanga was identified in mice strains known to have abnormal breast development and is one of several genes involved in the pathway to breast formation. The gene product, a protein called Neuregulin3 (NRG3), is a growth-stimulating substance which signals cells to become breast cells. Although the link with extra nipples has been made only in mice at this stage, “it is likely to be involved in humans”, Professor Ashworth says.

The protein is very similar to proteins found in breast cancer, suggesting a direct link between the two. NRG3 activates cells that have a protein very similar to one over-expressed in about 20 per cent of breast cancers and which can be targeted by the drug Herceptin.

“While proteins carefully control the development of breast cells in the embryo, inappropriate signals to breast cells during adulthood by these same molecules may cause breast cancer,” Professor Ashworth said.

Third nipples are not very rare: one in eighteen people has one. They can range in appearance from a small mole-like structure to a full breast, which may lactate, even in men. Third nipples are more common in men than in women.

Men have nipples because their physiological structure is laid down during embryo development before the genetic “male” signal is switched on.

The occurrence of third nipples has been observed since Roman times and are often attributed to increased femininity and fertility. In Salem, however, women with third nipples were condemned as witches and burnt at the stake, as they were thought to use them to suckle the Devil. Anne Boleyn, the second wife of King Henry VIII, was victimised because of her third nipple.

These days, self-help websites provide tips on how to use third nipples advantageously in dating, socialising and, bizarrely, career advancement. There are even websites devoted to people’s third nipple piercings.

People who have third nipples are not thought to be at greater risk of contracting breast cancer, although the tissue area should regularly be checked for lumps.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Meenakshi

The Legend of Meenakshi (sometimes spelled Minakshi)

Long ago in Madurai, India, there lived a King and Queen. The couple was childless and the King was in need of an heir. He prayed and performed a sacrifice in order to obtain a son but out of the sacrificial fire came a young girl with three nipples. She was Meenakshi, the Fish-Eyed incarnation of Parvati. The King was dismayed at not getting a son and further dismayed at getting a daughter with an abnormality. But a divine voice said, "Consider this girl to be your heir and train her like you would your son. As for her third breast, it will disappear when she meets her future husband."

In due course Meenakshi was crowned ruler of Madurai and she embarked on a program of expansion, conquering many kingdoms in her northward advance. When she reached Kailash Mountain, the home of Shiva, she destroyed Shiva's army so quickly that Shiva was compelled to enter the fray himself. For a moment the adversaries stood face to face and then Meenakshi's third breast disappeared. She threw down her weapons and surrendered to her husband to be.

Links to other versions:
Here, here, and here. There is also the Wikipedia entry on Meenakshi.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Her Royal Threeness

In my search for famous people with three nipples, I present for your edification the curious case of Anne Boleyn, former Queen of England.



First of all, I should address the case of Elizabeth I. Although at least one report attributes an extra nipple to this queen, I think someone has got their facts confused. They were no doubt thinking of the beheaded wife of Henry VIII.

As for Anne, numerous sources say she had not only an extra nipple, but an extra finger too. If you devoured The Book of Lists as I did as a fascinated seven year old, then you remember that fact. However, this seems to me a fabrication too. Apparently, she was beheaded for incest and adultery (generally seen as excuses for Henry to marry Anne's maid, Jane Seymour) and it wasn't until about 50 years later that a biographer first made the claims about the nipple and the finger. The rumours persist and frankly, they make a good story.

Too bad about the nipple, though. I bet if she had one, she wouldn't have lost her head.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Three And Proud



I think this is now the official T-Shirt of this webpage.