Three Nipples Point in One Direction

Sweet.

You know, I've been lazy lately, not keeping up with my posting, thinking I've seen it all, and then POW!  I'm back in the game, baby.

Harry Styles, from One Direction (girls are swooning right freaking now), just got a new tattoo right beside his third nipple.

Hey, teenage girl across the street, bring your Tiger Beat magazine over here and look at this: The Harry has three nipples!  No, Niall doesn't have one too.

Um, is that a Tardis?  Dude.  Not bad.

And yeah, that headline totally rocks.  Thanks Harry, glad to know you're one of us.

Dr. Oz weighs in on Third Nipples

So what does Dr. Oz say about having an extra nipple? Not much, just that about 5% of people have one, they're pretty cool, and that you shouldn't worry about it.

Personally, I'd be more excited if he revealed the secret powers it bestows on us. Nudge nudge wink wink, all you extra nipple people know what I'm talking about.

See the video here.

Nature Has Three Nipples

How common is it to have three nipples? Well apparently MOTHER NATURE HERSELF has three.

Of course, I'm only going by Wiki-freaking-pedia here, who have reproduced this image of The Temple of Nature:


The image itself is the frontispiece for Erasmus Darwin's book "The Temple of Nature". (This book, published in 1803, predates his more famous grandson's book on evolution by at least 57 years. Check it here.

At any rate, Mother Nature with a superfluous nipple should be a lesson to us all. Three and proud, people, three and proud.

Les Trois Mamelons (or Mamelles)

Aah, Mauritius. Beautiful island nation almost 1000 km off the coast of Madagascar. One day, I hope to visit. Apparently the view from the volcanic crater Trou aux Cerfs is spectacular.

To wit, I'm talking about its view the "Let Trois Mamelons" or what we refer to in English as "The Three Nipples."

Yup, three perky little mountains that remain topless. As far as I know. I mean, I suppose someone could have climbed them and carefully place a bra on the precise apex of the peak, for the sake of modesty, but why would they do that? I mean, it looks like a nice sunny place for tanning.

Meg Griffin Has Three Nipples Too!

Well it's about time. Since Krusty the Klown came out with his superfluous nipple, it seems only fair that another cartoon personality do the same.

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present Family Guy regular Meg Griffin's third nipple:



Okay, we'll have to take The Count's word for it, since we don't get to see for ourselves, but if there's one person I trust to count accurately, it's him.

UPDATE:
As of May, 2015, that link is no longer working. Here it is again:

Lily Allen's Third Nipple... Again!

Lily Allen is 50% more talented than the average pop singer, mainly because she has 50% more nipples. It's a fact.

And like me, she's not ashamed of it. Proud, even. Damn proud. Proud enough to show it off during an interview on Dutch TV. And let the interviewer touch it, even though he's an older, overweight Dutchman. (My apologies if you're into old fat dudes from the Netherlands. But seriously, seek help.)

WARNING: While hiking up her shirt, she accidentally reveals one of her normal, cute yet boring nipples.

Three Nipple Art for the New Year

Happy 2009 Everybody!

To celebrate, let me simply share this piece of modern art I found... truly a superfluous piece of work. Enjoy!

An Open Letter to People Thinking of Removing Their Superfluous Nipple

Dear Concerned Triple Nipplers,

I've been getting comments on this blog from people (mostly 14-year-olds, for some reason) with a third nipple who hate it and want to get it cut off. (Without their mothers finding out, natch.)

As a male, maybe I look on it a little differently, but I've always found my extra nipple interesting and different, which is a good thing.

If you're a girl, and you're dealing with that whole female-body-image thing, then I'm reluctant to offer advice, because it's out of my element... but here goes:

Plenty of women have three nipples too (check out the archives of this blog -- models, dj's, actresses, pop stars, executed queens...) and trust me, what seems monumentally important at 14 will becomre more and more accepted as you get older.

Besides, isn't it nice to have a quick and easy way to weed shallow assholes out of your potential dating pool?

After all, if someone can't deal with your extra nipple, how are they going to deal with the rest of your unique personality? And if they're only interested in your blemish-free perfect female body, do you really think they're worth your time?

In short, relax. Get used to your superfluous nipple and learn to love it. Find out what special powers it gives you. Mine alerts me when I'm in impending danger, or when the ice cream truck is getting nearer.

I'll never advocate going to a dermatologist to get it cut off, but I hear it's quick and easy. Of course, so is going to the tattoo parlor and getting a third eye stuck in the middle of your forehead. Whatever floats your boat.

Love,
Me and my third nipple

Three Nipples in Tibetan Culture

In Tibetan tradition, an extra nipple can be a good omen!

Three nipples, and other birthmarks, are sometimes indicators of special abilities within the nyingma (ancient) tradition.

Birthmarks and third nipples were a sine qua non (absolutely necessary) condition to prove extraordinary visionary destiny within the tulku (incarnation or rebirth) system.

I'm not making this up, either -- a very kind Tibetan (is there any other type?) named Panchen Kunga (he writes a blog, in French, called Buddhistan at http://buddhistan.blogspot.com) passed this on to me after visiting.

And after hearing how important extra nipples are in Tibetan culture, I figure that's just another reason to loathe the murderous scum that make up the Chinese Communist Party and have been butchering innocent Tibetans for over 50 years now.

Tony Parker has SIX nipples!

Dag, yo, I'm going to have to ditch the good Canadian boy Mr. Steve Nash and start cheering for the San Antonio Spurs.

Thanks to an eagle-eyed reader of this humble blog (this hero wishes to remain nameless), I've got a new post for everyone.

According to this here picture, Tony Parker, all-star basketball player and husband of the muy caliente Eva Longoria, has six nipples.

Go ahead, count 'em.


Of course, we all know that the dudes with the superfluous nipples always get the girls, and this is just further proof.

Hear me all you people out in the Intertubes, desperate housewives love the extra nipples. Three nipples is nice, but six... well, that's just twice as nice, and that makes him three times as desirable as a normal man. I did the math.

Carrie Underwood used to have three nipples...

According to Wikipedia, American Idol Carrie Underwood was born with three nipples too.

Carrie Underwood said (sorry no link -- the YouTube video has been removed) in her first American Idol audition, when Paula wasn't present, that she had a third nipple but had it removed even though it just looked like a mole.

These celebrities and their body modification... sometimes they just take it too far. Sure, nip this, tuck that, pierce here here and here, but dammit, don't go cutting off your nipples! Pink (Bob Geldof in "The Wall") cut his nipple off with a disposable razor and look how things turned out for him. (Hint: they turned out badly. He lost his freakin' mind. So don't cut off your nipples, okay?)

DJ "accidentally" removes third nipple

A moment of silence, please, for an extra nipple that's gone to a better place...

Jo Whiley has gone under the knife to have a third nipple removed.

The BBC Radio 1 DJ thought she was having a large mole cut off near one of her breasts.

But she says she was shocked when her doctor told her it was actually a mini nipple reports The Sun.

She said: "My husband has nicknamed me Scaramanga, after the James Bond baddie who also had three. Strange. On Monday I had three nipples, today I've got two."

Oh my word, I feel for your loss. I'd imagine it's how a telepath would feel if they suddenly lost all their mental powers. I'm glad your husband is sticking by you, now that you've got one less nipple.

Be warned, though: sometimes people who've undergone amputations report feeling in their non-existent limbs... the "phantom limb" phenomena.

If you feel it perking up on a chilly day, just try to remember the good times. We're there for you.

Calling Dr. Bell... Look at all these extra nipples!

Alexander Graham Bell was ready to answer the call of science -- especially when the subject of superfluous nipples came up.

From the Science Vault of Shelley Batts:

The Multi-Nippled Sheep of Alexander Graham Bell

Some say that American science is defined by its innovation and creativity, and who better embodies that than Alexander Graham Bell? Inventor of the telephone (strike that, first patenter of it!), founding member of the National Geographic Society and the journal Science, Bell's list of accolades is long and prestigious. Although, perhaps a little-known fact about this man was that he was also quite preoccupied with the nipples of the sheep that lived on his estate. After noticing that some sheep had more than the average number of nipples, he attempted to systematically breed them to determine the genetic underpinnings of the extraneous nipples. Luckily this precious information was published in Science in 1904, entitled "The Multi-Nippled Sheep of Beinn Bhreagh."

Beinn Bhreagh was Bell's estate near the town of Baddeck, Nova Scotia. When he purchased the property, some sheep came along with it. Or as he put it "I found myself to be in possession of a flock of sheep; and in the spring of 1890, one half of the lambs born upon the place turned out to be twins."

This higher-than-normal percentage of twins seemed a bit odd to Bell, who being a curious person, decided to examine the mothers of the twins and compare them to the mothers who had single births. And he did find a difference.

"Upon examining the milk-bags of the sheep a peculiarity was observed that was thought might be significant. Normally sheep have only two nipples upon the milk bag, but in the case of several of the sheep examined, supernumerary nipples were discovered....."

Bell further saw that the extra nipples were not functional, although some had three or four nipples instead of just two. Furthermore, the sheep that had extra nipples seemed to be more likely to bear twins (43% vs 24% for the normally-nippled sheep.) So he thought it'd be fun to "make an extended set of experiments to ascertain 1) whether, by selective breeding, the extra nipples could be [made functional], and 2) whether ewes possessing four nipples instead of two" were more fertile and were more likely to have twins.

As to the first goal, Bell's breeding program eventually yielded five and six-nippled sheep (and he expected seeing even more nipples, even eight!) and at least four of the nipples were functional. And sadly, his second hypothesis as to the multi-nippled sheep being more fertile, was disproven. Although, he felt that this had to do with the small sample size and noted that twins born to the multi-nippled mothers gained more weight although they were born smaller than normal. His hope was to impart upon the flocks of America genes from his sheep for "twin-bearing stock [which] would do much to promote this important industry by enabling farmers to make a double profit..."

Well whether that was ever accomplished, the article doesn't say, but Bell did mention an offer of free pamphlets to any interested members of the academy.

Yes, Alexander Graham Bell, born in Scotland, emigated to Canada, moved to the United States, and moved back to his estate in Canada for his greatest work, breeding sheep with extra nipples. I'm sure that's how he would have wanted to be remembered.

Crazy Nipplephobes are on the march...

Fly, my pretties, go get that Ubermilf!

Clearly, she's part of the ultra-right-wing conspiracy against tolerance and acceptance of what's clearly the greatest issue facing humanity today: the right to have a superfluous nipple.

Having an extra nipple is not a choice we make -- we're born that way. Or at least the lucky ones are. Do you think we just wake up one day and say "Man, I think today I'll have three nipples?" Jiminy, no!

Here's part of her hatemongering...

God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Eve and Adam's Third Nipple. These people are not part of His plan. They shouldn't be able to adopt children, they shouldn't be allowed to teach children, and for goodness sakes, don't let them marry!

Save me Jeebus, from crazies like this. First of all, it hasn't been proven Adam and Eve DIDN'T have three nipples each... but it was probably only one of them. Someone had to pass that gene down to the rest of us. Eve, most likely, since hers always seem to be hidden by those leaves (what's she trying to hide?), but who's to say that some nipplephobe didn't airbrush Adam's extra nipple out of that painting on the Sistine Chapel? Dang revisionist painters...

Zac Efron has FOUR nipples!

Man, it seems like the latest crop of celebrities is packed with extra nipples. And today we add another to our ranks...

Zac Efron, of High School Musical fame, has two superfluous nipples just below the regular two.


In this pic of his 2007 vacation to Hawaii with Vanessa Hudgens (only two nipples on her, as you may have seen in the news recently), he clearly has two symmetrical supernumerary nipples just below the other ones.

Man, those paparazzi with their telephoto digital cameras do serve their purpose. After all, greater image resolution means that we'll soon be seeing superfluous nipples EVERYWHERE!

Extra nipples in the mail

Let us raise a glass to Jaime, a brave man full of confidence and the utter lack of shame needed to post a photo of your extra nipples on the Internet!

Jaime wrote me an email the other day (pics [AT] superfluousnipple [DOT] com) and basically took me to task for not having enough photos of people with four nipples on the site.

Well, Jaime, first of all, there are several. (here, here, and here.) Just because I've only got three nipples doesn't mean that's where I draw the line. Leah's got nine and we like her just fine. (Watch for her to steal the show in Extra Nipples: The Movie!)

So here, in the pursuit of parity, is Jaime and his four nipples.


Oh, and Jaime? Get a better camera. And some lighting. I can barely make out the third one, let alone fourth.

Of course, Jaime never gave me explicit permission to post his picture here, but hey -- he mailed it to me. Open season!

And for the sake of balance, here's mine. Note how it's in focus... not that that's necessarily a good thing. Damn, I should have shaved my chest first.



Call it what you will: accessory nipple, superfluous nipple, supernumerary nipple, third nipple, extra nipple... tons of us have them, and they're not going away.

Four nipples for Masuimi Max

Because it's been pointed out to me by several people in the know (and loyal readers of this blog, natch), I'd be remiss if I didn't post about another famous person with more than two nipples.

Masuimi Max, an, ahem, "model," doesn't just have three nipples, she's got four!

Now you'd think that it'd be easy to find a photo showing all four nipples, right? Especially considering that the standard two are all over the place...

Well, I've looked at dozens of photographs of the scantily-clad Ms. Max (tough work, being a blogger) and here's a mostly-clothed Masuimi showing off one of her extra nipples, just above and closer to the shoulder. The fourth nipple is symmetrically positioned on the opposite side.

Even the best pics I could find only show one extra. Maybe I should pay for membership on her website to find a clear shot of all four... they do promise a massive members-only photo gallery... all in the name of research, of course.

Superfluous Nipples on Facebook

Like it or not, social networking is everywhere. And if you're a member of a very small group, like people with three nipples, then it sure makes it easy to find others like you.

So far, there are three Facebook groups aimed at people with a third nipple. (Or a fourth nipple...)

Triple Nipple
The Triple Nipple Group

... and, the most newsworthy one...

EXTRA NIPPLES... THE MOVIE!

Yes, that's right, THE MOVIE. Dan Louw in London is just about done filming his documentary about his search for the answer to the age-old question: How come I have extra nipples?

Okay, so it's not age-old, and it doesn't apply to everyone, but you can damn well bet it's worth watching.

Find out more at VGoodFilms, or check out his Facebook group.

And we'll let you know when the film is done!

Caught on Video -- Lily Allen Exposes Her Third Nipple!

Here's the video of Lily Allen hosting the Friday Night Project.



It's at about the one minute mark, right after she asks what her and Prince Charles have in common and Alan Carr guesses, to be funny, that they both have three nipples. And Lily does!

Lily Allen has three nipples!

Okay, so now Lily Allen is at least as cool as Amy Winehouse in my books.

On June 29 she hosted The Friday Night Project, a sketch comedy show in the UK, and revealed that she, too, has three nipples. And she showed it off!

The video I was going to link to has been removed by YouTube, but it's true. Yay Lily!