Tony Parker has SIX nipples!

Dag, yo, I'm going to have to ditch the good Canadian boy Mr. Steve Nash and start cheering for the San Antonio Spurs.

Thanks to an eagle-eyed reader of this humble blog (this hero wishes to remain nameless), I've got a new post for everyone.

According to this here picture, Tony Parker, all-star basketball player and husband of the muy caliente Eva Longoria, has six nipples.

Go ahead, count 'em.


Of course, we all know that the dudes with the superfluous nipples always get the girls, and this is just further proof.

Hear me all you people out in the Intertubes, desperate housewives love the extra nipples. Three nipples is nice, but six... well, that's just twice as nice, and that makes him three times as desirable as a normal man. I did the math.