Monday, July 14, 2008

An Open Letter to People Thinking of Removing Their Superfluous Nipple

Dear Concerned Triple Nipplers,

I've been getting comments on this blog from people (mostly 14-year-olds, for some reason) with a third nipple who hate it and want to get it cut off. (Without their mothers finding out, natch.)

As a male, maybe I look on it a little differently, but I've always found my extra nipple interesting and different, which is a good thing.

If you're a girl, and you're dealing with that whole female-body-image thing, then I'm reluctant to offer advice, because it's out of my element... but here goes:

Plenty of women have three nipples too (check out the archives of this blog -- models, dj's, actresses, pop stars, executed queens...) and trust me, what seems monumentally important at 14 will becomre more and more accepted as you get older.

Besides, isn't it nice to have a quick and easy way to weed shallow assholes out of your potential dating pool?

After all, if someone can't deal with your extra nipple, how are they going to deal with the rest of your unique personality? And if they're only interested in your blemish-free perfect female body, do you really think they're worth your time?

In short, relax. Get used to your superfluous nipple and learn to love it. Find out what special powers it gives you. Mine alerts me when I'm in impending danger, or when the ice cream truck is getting nearer.

I'll never advocate going to a dermatologist to get it cut off, but I hear it's quick and easy. Of course, so is going to the tattoo parlor and getting a third eye stuck in the middle of your forehead. Whatever floats your boat.

Love,
Me and my third nipple

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Touché

Anonymous said...

I have recently discovered the mark under my left breast isnt a mole its actuallty a 3rd nipple and Im very proud of mine! well said!

Nipple Lover said...

What an interesting site I never realised so many people had more than two nipples, I'd call that spoilt for choice! I came across you whilst browsing around having very recently started my own blog/site extolling the virtues of the nipple. I just love 'em and they are generally so underated.

I'll be sticking a link to you if you don't mind.

Edda María Hagalín said...

Hihi I found your blog when browsing for info on the third nipple. The reason for that is that I have one, really nipple like (it stands out) and my boyfriend has one too (more mole like) bu we have been together for 4 years. Mine is left but his is right. Know we have a 3 month old baby girl and she has two, one on each side. I also resently found out that my father has one also on the left! It seem that this runs in the family but I have not checked if one of his parent has one on the right! But i think it is really funny that my little family all have the third nipple and our little girl has both our third nipples, one lefty and one righty :)

Anonymous said...

I'm a chick and MY THIRD NIPPLE ROCKS!!! Nothings better than having the advantage of numbers in a wet t-shirt contest HA-HA!

Übermilf said...

I echo the "quick and easy way to weed shallow assholes..."

I don't have a third nipple, but I would look at it as a fun and unique feature rather than something "gross."

Of course, I'm not on the market, but why take away what makes you special? Is there something better about two nipples? I say no!

Of course, I shave my toe hair, so maybe I'm being hypocritical.

Thomas said...

Well I'm not ashamed anymore. I was born with four nipples. I've been hiding it for so so long.

Anonymous said...

The only reason I can think of for having a third nipple removed, is if you wear bras and the extra nipple rubs against the bra. Otherwise, I'd leave well alone. I have a small, dainty, third nipple and I love it!

Sarah

Anonymous said...

I'd never recommend removing a third nipple! Like the author of the post said, if anyone flipped out because of mine I highly doubt I'd want that person in my life anyway.

I think I'm lucky to have three nipples and have had fun showing people who don't believe me. And it's kind of like a strategically placed beauty mark. Just a cool accent.

Although I will admit after the Friends episode where Chandler got dumped by the girl with the wooden leg because of his 'nubbin' it crossed my mind that maybe people would find it unattractive. But to date, I've only had women who dig it!

Be Proud! We Are The Nippled!

Anonymous said...

I have four nipples just like the picture on wikipedia.Almost the same placement. I feel so Zac Efron.