Do you have two nipples? Does it make you feel inadequate? At last, there is an answer. Just add a couple extras!
Nipple removal surgery is so passe - these days, all the cool kids are getting extras. Yes, the fine folks at Dr. Jonas Zizlesse's plastic surgery clinic are now offering Nipple Addition Surgery as a means of dealing with obesity.
As they say on the website, why diet, exercise, or undergo liposuction to keep off fat when "the female breast, so beloved of men, is really nothing but a bag of fat! Yes, the same stuff women work so hard to keep off of their thighs and behinds is what makes up the most attractive part of their anatomy!"
Thanks Dr. Nick! Er, I mean Dr. Zizlesse!
How's Dr. Zizlesse making out with this plan? I'm not sure, but in tiny print at the bottom of the page it says "You Are Visitor #5 to These Pages Since May 5, 1995." Of course, it says that every time I go there, but even so, it's not exactly looking like customers are beating down his door.
I particularly like some of the joke lines in the sales pitch: "Are you feeling gullible?" "If you answered anything to any of these questions, then CLICK HERE!!" The form at the end is pretty good too. If only this offer were true.